Rebirth
by spopococ
Summary: He stood over the top of me, sword held against my dry throat. I felt strange. Despite everything that had happened, and even the circumstances bringing me here, I was almost... pleased... to see him? *Kadaj POV* YAOI Cloud/Kadaj for BunnyNeko.


Okay, so it's a little cliché, but I've never written any of the remnants before, and so I had to get a little inspiration by reading other people's work. It just seems like a popular kind of theme. With that, let it be said I have never had such a hard time writing a one-shot. Lol. I hope you guys like it. Especially Bunny. :D LOVES for you, my lovely! :D It wasn't EXACTLY what we talked about, but hope you like.

**Warnings: Yaoi, language, mild bondage, some violence, possibly completely OOC, and just… Dunno. Also, I don't own anything except this story idea. Wish I did. Well, you were warned anyway. –wipes hands clean of legal suit-**

**Prompt: **"Hmmm...Maybe.. Kadaj trying to find out what love is... and um... using Cloud as a test or something like that??"

**Requested by: **BunnyNeko

--

He was pleasing to the eyes, to say the least. At first, my mind immediately came to the conclusion that it had nothing to do with his appearance in particular, but simply that he was something _different._ We were family in a way, but he looked nothing like my other brothers, or in fact, like any other human we'd come across. I'd watched him that first time, all poise and grace as he maneuvered that bike through the obstacles of desert plateau below me, and I'd felt a foreign thrill rush through me, burning my blood in a way that was as yet unknown to me. When Loz and Yazoo had turned to me, I offered a trace smirk and sent them after him. They did so with little question, racing towards him and engaging him in battle. Still, he kept that poise and grace, despite not only my brothers but a hoard of the shadows closing in on him. It didn't seem as if he had what we were after, as I had expected to begin with. I'd simply wanted an opportunity to see the man who had beaten Sephiroth not once, but twice, and I'd held no regrets in choosing to do so. I called the president and one of his Turks answered, all cocky arrogance and false allusions. By the time I'd finished my conversation, I turned to see the shadows bearing down on him, overwhelming him. I could have let him die then, by allowing those beasts to tear him limb from limb, but I didn't. I called them off, and Loz and Yazoo came back to me. It was then that he had stopped that bike, turning it so that he could focus his attentions on me. Without his glasses, I held his eyes directly for the first time, pools of blue to rival the ocean in their depth. I could do little more than offer a small smirk and turn away.

Now, he stood over the top of me, sword held against my dry throat, as he offered a cold stare in my direction. I felt… strange… Despite everything that had happened, and even the circumstances bringing me here, I was almost… pleased… to see him?

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice flat as he continued to hold my gaze, "You're supposed to be dead."

I tried to talk, but couldn't, and upon seeing I was in no condition to pose a threat, he hesitantly lowered his blade.

"The planet rejected you, didn't she?" he asked softly, and I managed to nod my head slowly. Gaia had forbidden me entry into the Lifestream. She had teased me by allowing me to roam the planet's life flow for a few months, but had sent me back. The Ancient had offered a sad smile as I'd been brought back here, her ghostly image lingering long enough to tell me that I wasn't ready. The planet had the nerve to tell _me_ that _I_ wasn't ready? I'd gazed up into the skies that day, felt the rain falling upon my cheeks, his eyes locked onto me in remorse, and I'd welcomed my fate with open arms and a free conscious. With Sephiroth gone, so was the toxic hold of mother. The world had never seemed more beautiful when she took me into the Lifestream, but it was only to throw me out only months later with the excuse that I had not been _ready_? Bitterness rose in my throat, and apparently showed across my face, as he shook his head at me, expression softening.

"You didn't want to leave…" He murmured.

I held his gaze, allowing myself to be comforted a little by his presence. Familiarity was much to be desired, and surely it had been her will to bring him to me, mere hours after I'd found myself here. He stooped down, before pulling me up by limp shoulders to rest in his arms, and checking me over for injuries. A soft sigh escaped from my lips, and he shook his head down at me.

"I don't know what I'm meant to do with you," He murmured, "Tifa would have a seizure if I brought you back home."

Tifa. I'd watched her from the Lifestream, the pretty brunette. I'd heard her prayers to the planet for her unrequited love to be returned, but Gaia never interfered. I'd tried to hear Cloud's prayers, but Gaia kept them from me. She had a way of keeping secrets even from her own consciousness, and it was almost as if he'd become barred to me, despite my best efforts. Either that, or he never prayed. The latter seemed unlikely, but perhaps the blonde wonder before me had other things to keep him preoccupied. I offered a weak smile, as he pulled blades of grass from my jacket, and the gesture seemed to catch him off guard. He held my gaze for some time, his eyes focusing intently on mine.

"You're free of Jenova?" He murmured, his eyes scanning my own eyes for the familiar signs of her toxicity and finding nothing. He said nothing, frowning slightly and laying me back down.

He headed back to the bike and I almost tried to reach for him, terrified he would leave me here for the wolves. I was weak in this state and completely open to the wilderness I'd once tried to destroy. Despite them bringing me here, to their forest, I doubt even the Ancients would refuse Gaia's creatures a feast of human flesh.

"Yeah, it's me," The blonde murmured softly into the phone, "I need a little help. I can't really explain over the phone. Do you know where I am? …Alright then, see you soon."

The conversation was short, but polite, as I'd come to expect from him by now. He wasn't a large talker, I'd gathered that much. He turned back to me then, before walking back to me and taking a seat on a boulder to my side. He leant forward slightly, resting on his knees as he tilted his head slightly.

"The others," He began, shifting slightly, his eyes sweeping the surroundings briefly, "Did they come back with you?"

I shook my head, trying once again to talk but letting out little more than a dry rasp. He gave a cautious gaze, before going back to his bike and popping a compartment. He returned shortly after with a flask of water and handed it to my slightly shaky hand. I tried tipping it into my mouth from where I lay, spilling it across my chest and the earth below me and feeling a bubble of frustration rise in my chest. How could Gaia take every ounce of power from my hands? Surely, despite having been a previous threat, she could grant me the strength to move?

"Here," He murmured, taking me by the shoulders once more and pulling me to the base of the boulder he'd just been perching on. He propped me up like a loose-limbed ragdoll and allowed me to lean back, successfully getting me to sit upright. He took my hand and helped me raise the flask to my lips, my hand otherwise shaking unaided, and I drank as fast as my throat would allow. I only removed the flask from my lips when my breath had failed me, too immersed in the act of drinking that I seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. I let out a spluttered gasp and he watched me with curious eyes.

"Thank you…" I murmured, and he nodded, standing and now sitting on the earth where I had lay only moments ago.

"So you can talk," He nodded, draping an arm casually across his raised knee, his hand brushing along his adjacent thigh. I watched, transfixed, feeling that foreign fire burn through me again as gloved fingers trailed along black combat pants. He shifted awkwardly under my gaze, and I snapped myself out of it.

"Yes," I nodded, clearing my throat slightly, as I willed my eyes to focus on his, "My throat… It's dry…"

"Where are the others?" He asked bluntly, and I fought back the flicker of annoyance. Who did he think he was?

"The Lifestream, brother," I murmured, and he offered an outright glare.

"I'm not your brother," He snapped back, tone as cold as the stream itself had been.

He had little time to reply, before a red flicker caught the corner of my vision and I turned to find myself looking down the barrel of a gun. I offered a small smirk, as I raised my eyes to meet crimson ones.

"Do it," I murmured, but before the gunman could move an inch, Cloud uttered a clipped 'Vincent' and the gun was lowered.

"I presume this is why I'm here, then?" Vincent said smoothly. The blonde offered a nod, neither of them focusing any of their attentions on me. It was a foreign concept, to go from centre of attention in one life, to insignificant stain in another.

"The planet's sent him back," Cloud spoke on my behalf. Well, I presumed he was speaking on my behalf, but it felt oddly enough as if he were simply acting as if I wasn't there.

"Why?"

It was a simple question, directed at me, as he narrowed a crimson gaze in my direction.

"Apparently I have things to learn," I replied, "And having being relieved of my former… health issues… Gaia has granted me the chance to return to her. I assure you, the choice was not mine."

Vincent turned to Cloud then, the pair offering each other silent exchanges between their eyes, and a bitter pang of annoyance rang through me. What exactly _is_ the gunman to Cloud? The blonde offered a hesitant nod then, both individuals turning their gaze to me, before Vincent extended an arm and I felt all energy abruptly drained from my body as a spell fell over me.

--

I woke up restrained, and couldn't help the annoyance from creeping across my face. He'd been pacing nearby, cautious eyes flicking over to me when he realised I'd gained consciousness. He moved to take his seat in the chair by my bed now, lips drawn into a tight line. He'd remained that way for ten minutes now, doing little more than waiting for me to make the first move. I tugged experimentally on the ropes binding my wrists to the headboard, and was admittedly impressed with his handiwork. I would not be getting free of my own free will, knowing that Gaia had stripped me of my power the moment she placed me back on her soil. I was a little stronger than the average human, but far from my prime and it seemed as if my blonde captor was well aware of this.

"You've done well," I nodded politely, "But was it really necessary to restrain me?"

He nodded, tilting his head back slightly as he offered me a weary gaze.

"I'm pretty confident in your story, but others will be a little harder to convince," the blonde replied smoothly, "It was either bind you, or have Vincent shoot you."

He held back a small smirk, and shrugged slightly.

"I think I made the better decision for all parties involved."

I nodded, allowing a small smile to show through, and he seemed slightly taken aback by the gesture.

"What?" I asked, and he shook his head,

"Nothing, I just haven't seen you smile like that since…"

"Since she came for me," I nodded, knowing full well what he was recalling, "You held me there, and she came for me."

"Yeah," He agreed softly, eyes turning from mine to face awkwardly to his left, "It's… kind of how a young face should be. It suits you, I guess."

He said the last bit awkwardly, and I wish I had the knowledge to recognise anything else in someone's eyes besides discomfort, disdain or anger.

"So you still remember that?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I remember watching you through his eyes, and feeling that blade pierce through the both of us," I almost finished there, but I continued in spite of myself, "And I remember laying in your arms and knowing then that I couldn't have died more content with my end. You cried."

He looked almost instantly uncomfortable, as he shifted in his seat, his lips parting slightly.

"What is it you've been sent here to learn?" He asked, and I allowed him to change the subject. If that was what he needed, then I would give it to him.

"The meaning of life itself, apparently. Isn't that what Gaia does?" I replied drily, and he seemed mildly amused.

"No need for sarcasm," He murmured, and I quirked a brow.

"Sarcasm?"

"Your tone, it's sarcastic."

"Oh…"

I dared not tell him that I had little idea of what he'd meant. I just presumed that being sarcastic was offering a false statement in a form of mockery, if he had judged my tone correctly.

"You have issues identifying emotions, don't you?" He asked casually, "It's like you know how to describe what you're feeling, but you have a problem with telling other people what they are."

"It's not something I ever had the need to learn," I replied flatly, holding his gaze with as much force as I could muster. He unsettled me just a little, those eyes holding mine with such a probing ferocity as he offered a small frown. It wasn't that he made me feel bad, just somewhat… different… My stomach was a little tighter than usual, and my face felt as if it were burning under his gaze, a prickling sensation along my skin as I held those seemingly endless tunnels of blue.

"I can understand you not expressing some emotions, but not being able to identify them is a little strange," He muttered, seemingly lost in thought, "Maybe that's what they sent you back for."

There was a pause, before his gaze turned questioning, and I shifted slightly, as much as my bounds would allow.

"In the stream, I'd felt different to the others, but in a way that I was familiar with," I tried to explain, "In the way that I was stronger, different, and obviously out-casted. Loz and Yazoo, they accepted that."

"And you?"

"It bothered me. Certain things," I paused, not willing to permit him too much, "Just bothered me."

"Unfinished business is quite often a reason for refusal into the stream," Cloud nodded, watching as I shifted slightly again. My arms were a little numb from being held above my head, and my wrists were trying to free themselves in a subconscious effort on my part. He hesitantly shifted too, his eyes hazing slightly, as I tried to maneuver myself free with various movements of my body.

"It would be easier if you just untied me," I muttered, and he shook his head, eyes briefly flicking to my waist where I could feel my shirt had lifted. I felt my skin burning again, mind reeling with a sensory overload of an overactive imagination. It had Cloud's lips trailing along that exposed bit of flesh, his eyes looking up at me from over my chest as he did so. I was abruptly turned away from my thoughts, as he spoke.

"For the moment, this works for me, even if I do hold an illogical amount of trust in you."

I nodded reluctantly and allowed a small huff of air to slip through parted lips.

My mouth was becoming dry again, and I trailed a tongue along my lips to try and ease the scratching feeling that seemed to be relentless in its torment. It was an absent-minded gesture, but as my eyes settled on Cloud, I noted how seemingly enthralling the act was. His eyes were glued to my mouth, as his own lips parted minutely. I stopped, and he was abruptly brought back to his senses. Interesting…

"Is everything alright?" I asked, mild concern filtering through my words. He nodded awkwardly, standing and heading for the window.

"I'd never expected to see you again," He said softly, brows furrowed as he gazed out at the town outside.

"Surprise?" I replied with the sarcastic tone he'd mentioned before, and he offered a small huff of a laugh, before turning gentle features to face me.

"You know, a part of me knew you were like this all along," He murmured, eyebrows furrowing again, "And I guess I didn't know how to deal with that when we were fighting."

My mind reeled back to that time, and I could recall feeling him holding back. He'd fought with me with a different ferocity than he'd shown _him_. When Cloud fought me, he was hesitant, almost a little sloppy. When Cloud fought with _him_, he'd burned with anger, and he'd put every calculated motion into destroying an existence he no longer held dear to his heart.

"You held back when you fought me," I murmured in confusion, as he sat in the chair by my bedside, "Why?"

I'd heard of conflicting emotions whilst in the Lifestream, of people fighting between one need or emotion and another, and I knew what it was to try and hold back words that one was unwilling to ever murmur out loud. Right now, he seemed to be showing signs of both. I aimed for a spot I hoped he still held open.

"I thought you trusted me," I murmured, and he seemed mildly annoyed by this statement.

"I do," He sighed slightly, "It's nothing to do with trust. It's to do with expression, and with admitting to things that nobody wants to admit to, Kadaj."

I felt that unknown fire burn through my blood again, as my name rolled off his tongue in his fresh foreign accent and I couldn't help but beg he would offer it again.

"Could you… say that again?" I breathed, and he gave me a confused expression, before nodding.

"It's not about trust, it's about expression. Basically, it's my unwillingness to admit to things that I'm not sure I want to," He repeated, leaving off those desired two syllables. I shook my head slightly, feeling uncomfortable at the gesture. Something about that burning feeling within my blood was starting to consume me, and I wasn't sure how to respond.

"No… My name," I murmured, boldly holding his gaze, "Could you say it again?"

There was a flash in his eyes then, as his lips parted slightly.

He moved forward in his chair and he seemed as hesitant in his actions as he was in his words.

"What are you feeling right now?" He asked, and my mouth felt unexplainably dry, his eyes watching me with a growing curiosity.

"It's difficult to explain," I murmured, my voice sounding strange in its tone and timbre. However it had changed, it seemed to amuse him, as a barely noticeable smirk licked at the edges of his mouth. I shifted slightly against my restraints again, and gave an unconscious scowl at my wrists, as I felt friction burning against my skin. He let out a soft sigh, allowing the fire to die down from his eyes as he did so.

"You're giving yourself rope burn," Cloud murmured, as I twisted slightly again.

"It hurts a little," I confessed, as he gave a weary nod.

"And if I untie your wrists…?"

"…I will untie my ankles?"

"No," He said firmly, and I bit back a scowl. Admittedly, my ankles felt in far better condition than my wrists.

"If you untie my wrists," I said slowly, "I give my word to leave my ankles in place. Should your friend return, you may re-bind my wrists…"

He quirked a brow in apparent surprise, before offering a small nod.

"Alright."

He stood and moved over, before stooping down to hover just above me, his fingers getting to work on untying his handiwork as best as he could without damaging the rope. I could smell him as he rested his knees beside me on the bed, his neck hovering just above my face, his cologne teasing my nostrils. The smell was intoxicating and acting completely on instinct, I raised my lips to press against pale skin, allowing my tongue a brief taste of what he had to offer. He froze in his actions, and a sharp hiss of air escaped his lips. I pulled back to see his face stilled, eyes closed tightly, before he opened them wide in hazy confusion and stared down at me.

"Why… did you do that?" He breathed. His breath was slightly shallower as he held my gaze, and I stared up at him with interest. That was a very good question. I wasn't entirely sure why I had essentially just licked him, but I was aware that I had enjoyed the taste and inexplicably wanted more. The fire in my blood was racing now, and I felt my expectations growing. I wasn't sure what it was that I was expecting, but excitement boiled through my blood and only beat stronger the more his skin brushed against mine.

"I wanted to taste you," I said bluntly, and his eyes flashed once again.

"Taste me?" He murmured, and I offered a nod.

"Tell me how you're feeling, Kadaj…"

There it was again, that musical note across that single word.

I bit down lightly on my lower lip, terrified that should I open my mouth, words that made no sense would spill in an endless babble. My eyes drifted partially closed of their own accord, and his eyes glowed slightly in response.

"You like the way I say your name, don't you?" He murmured, and I offered a flustered nod, feeling my cheeks burning as he held my gaze. I startled then, as one of his hands came to rest at my partially exposed waist, his eyes never leaving mine. The touch sent a small shiver through my body, an alien experience. Anytime I had been touched, it was a necessary action, or whilst engaged in combat. Shouldn't it have been a mundane sensation, and not… _this_? I let out a shaky breath as I looked up at him with startled eyes, his fingers moving slightly across my skin.

"It's different to what you're used to, isn't it?" He murmured, "You're feeling hot, flustered, maybe a little dry in the mouth?"

I nodded, as his fingers continued their trailing, and his gaze flicked from his own hand to my eyes again.

"…And you like it when I touch you, don't you?"

"Yes…"

"Tell me how you feel," He murmured. His voice was different to how it was before. Now, it was a little rough around the edges, as if he wasn't quite able to speak properly.

"…Good. I feel good," I admitted cautiously, feeling my cheeks flare a little more, "I feel warm, a little dizzy, and almost impatient about something."

He leant down, his face a little closer to mine as his breath brushed along my skin, before gently, his lips pressed against mine. I pressed back, relishing in the soft pliancy of his kiss. This, I knew of. It was something I saw from the Lifestream often, and heard whispered references to amongst the consciousness of the planet herself. But experiencing it was something foreign, something new, and something unexplainably luscious. His fingers pressed lightly against my skin, and my breath caught. My lips parted, and I felt something wet press against them, before realising it was a gentle probing of his tongue. I opened my mouth and allowed it to enter. Feeling it press lightly against my own, I pressed back too. I heard an appreciative sound from Cloud's throat as he pulled back slightly, toying with my lips once again, before sliding his tongue into my mouth once more. I gasped slightly, as his hand slid up my shirt along my bare skin, and a thumb grazed against a bud of quickly tightening flesh. I felt another part of my body stirring to life, the crotch of my pants becoming noticeably tighter as my head span slightly. This time, as he began to pull back from me, I instinctively sucked on his tongue in my attempts to hold him there. He let out a low groan in response, and I automatically returned the sound. He managed to pull free though, his breath coming out in short puffs as his eyes flared with mako and something else I could feel within my own expression.

"Gaia," he murmured, "I shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?" I asked, and he rest his forehead against mine, holding back a small smirk.

"I don't think you'd understand," He said softly, "But I don't think I'd forgive myself for abusing you in such a position."

"Abuse is the physical, psychological, or sexual maltreatment of a person or animal," I frowned slightly, "In which way is this maltreatment?"

The blonde placed a solitary kiss on the side of my lips, as he shook his head slightly.

"In the worst way possible," He replied simply, moving to pull back.

"Cloud," I said firmly, and he faltered, "What if… What if I want this abuse?"

Blue eyes flashed as he held mine, before he bit on his lower lip slightly. If he were anything like me, it meant he had too much to say and not enough words to say it in. Instead, he shook his head, reaching to finish untying my bound wrists.

"I could very easily go a lot further with this," He murmured, avoiding my probing gaze, "But you're not here for that. I just got a little caught up with having you here with me now and…"

"And you _wanted_ to act on it," I finished, and he nodded slowly.

The moment my hands were free, I sat up and placed a hand in blonde locks, as his eyes widened slightly. I couldn't have been awfully good at it, but I pressed my lips against his once again and took a chance in nibbling slightly on his protruding lower lip, before sucking lightly on it.

"Kadaj…" He breathed, a hand resting at my lower back, as he bore his neck to me in a subconscious display of his trust. I hesitantly took the suggestion and lowered my lips to graze teeth at his jugular, my tongue trailing soft skin to capture each taste he had to offer. I was rewarded with a guttural groan and firm hands clutching at my back, before a set of teeth was gently nibbling on my earlobe. I saw white, almost blinded by the sensations immediately coursing through my body, a wet tongue curling around the lobe and sucking lightly, as he murmured against my ear.

"From the moment I saw you," He whispered, his lips brushing the shell of my ear, "I waited for this. I waited for you. The real you."

I felt my eyes widen slightly, before his wandering tongue lolled my head back, his hands sliding up my shirt once again.

"I was drawn to you, again and again," He whispered, "By your eyes, by your secretive little smirks, by your mannerisms."

"Cloud?"

"You need to learn emotions," He murmured, his hand sliding back down my skin to press against my crotch and drawing an involuntary groan from my mouth.

"This comes from lust," He murmured, his lips pressing lightly against mine a few times, as he massaged my growing errection, "Which shows me that _you_ want _me, _just as much as I want you. You find me attractive. I find that flattering, Kadaj."

I choked slightly on my own breath, as his stimulation continued.

"I want…" I faltered, as teeth nipped lightly at my jaw line.

"Tell me what you want."

"Everything. You. I want you."

He laid me back down, allowing my fingers to trail along his bare arms and across his chest, as he began working on removing my clothes. I felt a pang of anxiety, but when his lips pressed against my chest and sent tendrils of pleasure coursing through me, it fled.

"Gaia," I heard myself whisper, as his lips ghosted down my body, his fingers furiously working at my pants. He let out a soft moan as my hand dove into his hair and tugged slightly. I wanted to see his eyes looking up at me from my navel, just as my mind had silently begged for only minutes ago, and he rewarded me with my wish. I watched luscious pink lips press against my skin, blue eyes holding mine with a burning intensity as his lips parted. I let out a surprised groan of my own, as I felt his tongue pressed into the dip in my navel.

I shivered as his fingers slid down the sides of my bare torso, and writhed slightly as his hand brushed along my errection once again in his efforts to pull down my pants. Every touch and gesture was bliss, and I had no sense within me to ask him why. I looked down again, as I felt the room's air on my now exposed crotch, before staying transfixed whilst his lips slowly encased my length. Gaia, what was this? I cried out, clutching at blonde locks as I was surrounded by heat, suction, and a wet sliver of muscle along the underside of my shaft.

"Ahh… Cloud?" I groaned, as his eyes rose from my groin to meet mine once again. Whatever question I'd held had dissipated with the gesture, my mind foggy with captivation over his mouth sliding over my length and tightening around my throbbing flesh. I closed my eyes as I felt a tingling sensation all over me, before he let out a low hum, vibrations shooting straight through my skin and into my core, before I let out a startled cry. White noise was the best way to describe it, my mind dizzying with a white hot elation that I'd never experienced, as I felt myself peak in my desires, Cloud's mouth rhythmically swallowing around me as I did so. I panted, my hands clutching his hair as he held my hips down, stopping their involuntary bucking into his mouth until I managed to calm myself down from my high. He pulled back from me, sliding up my body as he hovered over my mouth with his lips.

"Kiss me," He murmured, and I felt a foreign thrill at being dominated like this. This blonde masterpiece was before me, controlling me in a way that I had little desire to refuse. I raised my lips to his and slid my tongue in almost immediately, tasting my own release on his tongue. I couldn't say it was the most pleasant taste in the world, but the taste of Cloud was overpowering, and the experience was so new and exotic that I could not have cared less.

It was then that I allowed my fingers to roam, and was rewarded with another guttural moan as they found their target. He felt hot to the touch under my fingers, and I felt his own length pulsing even through the material of his pants.

"Kadaj," He groaned, a hand sliding into my hair as he gave another appreciative moan under my ministrations.

"Do you like it?" I asked boldly, as his eyes flared at the question, my fingers tightening their grip slightly.

"Yeah, that's good…" He murmured, before working on undressing himself. I helped with his shirt, my lips eager to trail along his collarbone as he worked on his pants. It didn't take him long before he was hovering over me once again, his body now skin on skin against mine. He bore scars along otherwise flawless skin, and my lips were drawn to a horizontal one marring his left shoulder. My eyes settled on it briefly, and I felt my brows furrow of their own concern, well aware that he suffered pain by the indirect actions of my hand. We both knew where it came from, and when I placed gentle kisses along the jagged mark, his tone was decidedly softer.

"I don't blame… you…" He murmured, raising a hand to brush strands of silver from my eyes, as my lips continued their caress.

"I do," I replied, and he gently raised my jaw so that he could lower his lips to mine. I felt my chest pounding as if we were engaged in a battle, and my surprise must have shown through, as he rest a hand against my chest.

"How do you feel?" He asked, knowing that once again, the description of my emotion eluded me.

"How do _you_ feel?" I murmured, fingers trailing along his bare back.

"My heart's pounding," He explained quietly, "And my head is dizzy. My stomach is tight and restless, and I feel like I have something growing in my chest that could explode the next time you touch me."

I faltered slightly. It was as if he'd reached into my own consciousness and mirrored each emotion that flittered through me.

"And why do you feel that?" I asked, his eyes turning away with conflictions once again, "Cloud?"

When he continued to say nothing, placing further kisses along my jaw line, I let out a soft breath against his ear.

"I'm the same," I murmured, "Everything you said. I'm the same."

He paused in his administrations, raising his head to meet my gaze once again in all seriousness.

"If you do, then you're in love with me," He murmured, and the sentence reverberated in my ears. Love? The only love I'd ever felt was that for battle, or for mother in my darker times, or my love and desire for acceptance, and this was not love. This was something different.

"I feel differently towards you than the other things I've loved," I murmured, and he shook his head.

"There are different kinds," He murmured, "But if you feel differently for me than anything or anyone else, then you feel as I do. I can't explain it how I want to…"

He frowned then, those Gaia forsaken eyes losing their flare for longer than I could bear. I raised my lips to his once more and toyed with them, murmuring between kisses.

"I can… accept… loving you…" I whispered, and he returned his fingers to run along my skin, his errection pressing against my thigh, as he reached into his discarded pants pocket and pulled out a green orb. I was about to question this action, before he murmured 'trust me' against his ear and lined himself up with my body. As I finally realised his intentions, his errection slowly eased inside my body, breaking past a degree of tension and sending a burning ache through my entire lower region. I bit down on my lip, almost drawing blood as pain wracked my body, and I shuddered against him. He kissed me again, and the orb in his hand glowed, the pain sliding from my body, and allowing me to feel nothing but pleasure, as he slid himself in to his pelvis.

"Fuck…" He hissed through his teeth, his eyes clamped shut as he threw his head back and panted from apparent exertion, "Oh Gaia, that's tight…"

I wriggled slightly against him, and another guttural moan was pulled from his lips, as he pulled me closer to him by the waist. He pulled me over to him, sitting me on top of his lap and pressing a kiss against my collarbone as he rested his sweating forehead against my shoulder. I couldn't describe the feeling of having him so intimately before me, brilliant blue eyes fluttering open as I smirked slightly against his nose, smug satisfaction seeping through me that I had him at least a little in my control. That all changed abruptly however, as strong hands gripped my hips, raising me up slightly, before crashing me back down upon him. I let out a surprised gasp, as his length filled me to the brim, his errection pulsing inside me, before he repeated the action. I trembled against him, feeling my own length flooding back to life and pressing against his abdomen. My ankles remained bound behind him, but I barely felt the friction from the ropes, even as he began to drive himself into me with a growing intensity.

I let out an expletive then, as a sudden change in angle had him hitting a spot inside me that was burning through me with such intensity that I almost blacked out. I opened startled eyes to see him offering his own smug smirk, before biting down on my shoulder and offering several well aimed thrusts to drag about that explosive sensation within my body. Within minutes, his hands gripping my waist and pulling me towards him, I was releasing myself again, his name tumbling from my lips as I felt his own release filling me from the inside. His face was contorted into a tortured bliss as it happened, and he thrust his tongue almost violently into my mouth, before falling on top of me as we lay on the bed. I panted from the effort, feeling that same unsettled feeling in my stomach as he lay across me; fair skin slicked with sweat and seed, and placed a lazy kiss on my lips. Something about it was too right.

"Kadaj?" He murmured, and my heart seemingly skipped a beat at the word, before blue eyes raised from my chest to meet mine.

"You love me?" I asked, and he seemed mildly uncomfortable, before offering a small nod.

"Yes."

"So… So love can leave me with this feeling? With this feeling of wanting to be a part of you?" I asked cautiously, and he nodded.

"Yes."

"…And do you have that feeling with me?"

He paused, offering a small nod.

"I do. You… left… and I never thought I would get to speak to you, to tell you how I felt," He murmured, his eyes turning from mine slightly, before returning to my face in mild confusion.

"But it's like…" He paused, seemingly finding difficulty in finding his words, "It's like they listened."

His fingertips traced my face, almost as if he were memorizing it, before he shook his head slightly in disbelief, a small smile creeping along his lips. I offered a puzzled expression, before he shook his head.

"I never used to pray to Gaia. But I asked her for that opportunity, to have you back," He murmured, "And she gave you to me."

A realization crept through me at his words: that my purpose itself had been Cloud, and I silently sent a prayer to the planet herself that she would let him have me. He rolled over and cut the ropes around my ankles free, before laying back down beside me. He pulled a quilt over the both of us, and pulled me to rest against his chest, my ear hearing the erratic pounding of his heart that my own was offering me.

"Love…" I murmured. As he stroked my hair with a soft 'mhmm' and placed a kiss atop my forehead, I couldn't help but wonder what world I'd wanted to help birth, if I was to be free of this feeling, before realising that some alternate fates were best left undisclosed.

This? This was the real reunion I'd been waiting for.

--

**A/N**: "Bud of flesh"? I dunno, I just can't type the word 'nipple' in the middle of a lemon. It makes me giggle too much.

Anyway, hope you liked. It was so hard to write. I've never written Kadaj before. D:

I'd love some concrit.

I _can't_ be the only one who giggles at that word every single time… Nipple… -snort-


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